What to do When You're Both Mad

April 16, 2009

Building Better Marriages - From ABIDE in LOVE, Healthy Marriage for United Methodists


As a couple, it's wonderful to be good friends and companions. But relationships are seldom easy. Sometimes you are sick, tired, or hungry and then little comments get magnified until they feel like terrible insults. We let two or three pinches go by without commenting, but the third one feels like too much. 


Forgiveness may be the key to solving many of our problems. Other disagreements need time. Then there's the ability to discuss our feelings and hurts without becoming abusive. We need time and skill to understand each other and repair the relationship. That's the golden skill to learn: how to talk about it, really listen, and making sure to take Time Out when voices get louder, then coming back later to try again. It's crucial to have the agreement that you will both STOP when it begins to get heated. 


Then the important question is, "How can you get back to being friends again after the argument?"


ABIDE in LOVE offers churches and couples a couple's communication class, Mastering the Mysteries of Love. Classes are available in the San Jose and Sacramento areas. For more information, contact Glenn and Gwen Tilton in the Sacramento area, gtilton2@comcast.net or 916.393.6479; and in the San Jose area contact Bea Strickland, BeaStrickland@aol.com or 408.268.3956. Bea is a longtime trainer and organizer for Marriage Enrichment.